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No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
Over half the contacts in my phone are named “Do Not Answer”
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
Does running out of money count as exercise?
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......