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I don`t care about your status...
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`