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Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
"We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.