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Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
"Thanks for coming" - sperm bank receptionist.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.