Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
The word bed looks like a bed.
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.