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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?