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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Iām simply on reserve for the one who deserves
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.