Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.