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Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
Guy tip of the day: To avoid arguments about the toilet seat, use the sink...
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
why we do not have a romance class...............