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I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
exercise........you mean extra fries
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.