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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.