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Cashiers are always checking me out.
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.