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If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?