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“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
You know you can`t say "happiness" without saying "p*nis"
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: "What the f#ck happened to the roof?"
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome