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These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.