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President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...