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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.