Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.