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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.