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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.