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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Being a fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...