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How to make friends: 1. Tell people you have weed.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. Iām flattered.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"