Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
During Sex you burn as much calories as running 5 miles ... Who the f*ck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds.
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
A homeless man comes up to me asking for change, I say "Change comes from within." He looked stunned.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."