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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome