Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
The only time I use the word “selfie” is when I am describing my sex life.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
It feels like one of them days..... ya know? When you wanna fart and blame the other person for it!
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face