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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?