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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell β€œAaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.
I am the bestest at the English language...
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)