Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars