Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.