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Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.