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Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
So much to do and so few alibis.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.