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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.