Daily Silly Status

I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.

I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.

Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.

If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??

I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.

If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.

I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?

I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.

Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.

I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.

Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?

Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.

From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"