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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers
I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
Iād drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.