Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
Save water, shower together.
I said my wife`s name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet`s empty...