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Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
´s status message is better than yours
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.