Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Relationship Status: eating
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??