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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I`d feel totally comfortable dating a zombie because I`d know she loved me for my brains and not just my body.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?