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There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Calling someone with glasses “four eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Its amazing how much more tolerable thanksgiving with the family becomes after the 5th cocktail…
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.