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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.