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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate that my little black heart skips a beat with delight.
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.