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Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.