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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Match dot com, but for socks.
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.