Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
I drink to make other people interesting
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
High-five a veteran today.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.