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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
"I`m sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing...except when you`re at a funeral.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
I have never walked toward the exit of a supermarket without nervously wondering if I`ve stolen something.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium