Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m always surprised how quickly "you`re so funny" turns into "everything is a fcuking joke to you." (usually about 3 months)
Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.