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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife someone wakes me up.
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.