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Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
The push-up bra: the strangely acceptable female equivalent of a rolled up sock stuffed in men`s underwear.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."