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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It`s not worth the jail time!"
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
My relationship is like an iPhone, I don`t have an iPhone.
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.