Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Online dating is like shopping for a car online... show me the carfax!! I wanna see the history!
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
How many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet