Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got into a vicious battle with quite possibly the World`s Largest Spider. The outcome? Well, I`m updating my Facebook status this morning.... He isn`t.
I don`t have issues... I AM an issue
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.