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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
Those 4 words that will get any girl into bed with you. `I won the lottery`.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.