Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
I should come with a warning label.
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.